Once upon a time there was a huge, tall tower. It stood a thousand feet tall, with a spire that cut clouds in half. In this tower there were a princess to save, a witch to cook, and a dragon to slay who lived outside. The princess was really kind and flawless. The witch looked hideous and her hair was straw-like. She had a pointed nose and her eyes were flashing with cruelty. However, she is a really good cook.
Every day, the witch would climb a thousand stairs to bring the princess her food and sleeping potion, for without it she could not sleep. The dragon would then sit on its haunches and read to her, its head right outside her large window. Then the witch would go downstairs, and conjure a big meal for the dragon, and eat a poisoned apple. Then they would play cards till midnight, and go to sleep. They were happy playing together every day.
One day, Prince Charming came riding up the road on a big black horse. He tried to slay the foul dragon by cutting its head off with his sword, but his sword merely bounced off the dragon’s thick hide. The next day he tried arrows, but they bounced off like the sword. On the third day, Prince Charming discovered that even a dragon will blow up to tiny bits if you shoot it with a bazooka.
Then he tried to kill the witch with his sword, but the witch turned to vapour and run away. The next day, he tried to kill the mage with his bazooka, but that didn’t work either. Then he simply gave the witch a no poisoned apple, the only thing that can really kill that witch. Then the prince ordered his workers to build an elevator, because he didn’t want to climb a thousand steps just to kiss his bride awake. When the elevator was finally done and he rode up, he discovered that the princess had starved to death.
The prince went home happier anyway—the princess in the next kingdom over was much prettier than the dead one in the tower. A happy ending as expected.
Every day, the witch would climb a thousand stairs to bring the princess her food and sleeping potion, for without it she could not sleep. The dragon would then sit on its haunches and read to her, its head right outside her large window. Then the witch would go downstairs, and conjure a big meal for the dragon, and eat a poisoned apple. Then they would play cards till midnight, and go to sleep. They were happy playing together every day.
One day, Prince Charming came riding up the road on a big black horse. He tried to slay the foul dragon by cutting its head off with his sword, but his sword merely bounced off the dragon’s thick hide. The next day he tried arrows, but they bounced off like the sword. On the third day, Prince Charming discovered that even a dragon will blow up to tiny bits if you shoot it with a bazooka.
Then he tried to kill the witch with his sword, but the witch turned to vapour and run away. The next day, he tried to kill the mage with his bazooka, but that didn’t work either. Then he simply gave the witch a no poisoned apple, the only thing that can really kill that witch. Then the prince ordered his workers to build an elevator, because he didn’t want to climb a thousand steps just to kiss his bride awake. When the elevator was finally done and he rode up, he discovered that the princess had starved to death.
The prince went home happier anyway—the princess in the next kingdom over was much prettier than the dead one in the tower. A happy ending as expected.